So a week ago I accepted an offer to go out to eat with a gentleman I had met about 5 months prior. Let’s just say for the last 4 months he has tried and tried and tried some more to convince me to go on a date with him.. in which each and every time I declined.. nicely but I still declined. Finally I agreed. I guess all the falling out with friends and since the current man aka boy I was involved with had vanished from my life also I thought.. Hell, why not!? He took me to a nice little sushi restaurant in the center of my hometown. It was nice and oh sooo delicious. We ended the night after that. Since then we have talked almost every day and he is very interested in seeing me again and getting to know me. SCORE!!! A nice guy, brought ME out to eat, has a future, and takes care of himself. Seriously.. SCORE! .. right?
So why the hell am I sitting here trying to cancel on our date tonight.. its not even that I don’t want to see him or go out with him. I DO! BUT .. I don’t? I told him I didn’t have gas, he wants to give me gas money to spend time with him.. seriously? My last attempt to cancel consisted of me telling him that I have cramps.. I told him I have cramps.. FRICKEN CRAMPS! O-M-G and I have yet to get a text back.
Oh man I seriously kill myself, who does these ridiculous things? Why am I always pushing away good guys? Give me an ass hole and I’ve got the whole thing figured out before it even begins. I know what to say, I know what to expect and I definitely know where it WILL NEVER GO. But its safe and like I said.. I know it. So why can’t I allow myself to know this one? Why can’t I try and be with a nice guy? My oh my, now I wait.. does he text back.. does he keep pursuing my contradicting indecisive bail on a dime dramatic ass. Or does he bounce.
So I guess the question isn’t really should I date him or not.. Its more of.. should he date ME or not…
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